Today on Rosa Rambles, I am going to discuss DISAPPOINTMENT. Any of you that have actually experienced it knows it's not pleasant, but I feel it's relevant for me to talk about seeing as it's currently rather present in my life right now *sigh*.
Before I tell what actually I'm disappointment about, I'll tell you know: disappointment (to me) is not just not getting 100% in an exam. Disappointment is the feeling you have when you've worked for hours and hours towards this exam, and it's the most important one to you, and you don't achieve what you want/know you can.
Disappointment is that crushing feeling where you really start to doubt yourself. Could I have done anything different? Should I just give up and decide that I'll never meet any of my goals so there's no point in putting myself through this time and time again?
So what am I disappointed about? Well, I recently found out that I didn't reach the final of a writing competition. Rather small, when not put into context, isn't it? But let me tell you, I've entered this competition five times. Every year I possibly can, and now I'm too old. I've spent weeks, months in some cases perfecting my stories, only to be crushed every time when I didn't even make it through to the second round. But this time was different: I wrote a story that I'm pretty damn proud of, and it reached the next stage.
And here's my mistake: I got ahead of myself. I imagined meeting Chris Evans and all these big celebrities if I reached the final round. I imagined being on live radio. Winning my height in books.
And I didn't make it through.
Sucks, right? It really sets back your confidence, because, as I said before, maybe I should just give up. I'm obviously not getting anywhere with my stories. I hate feeling like this because all I want to be when I grow up is an author.
I was utterly crushed. I moped around for maybe half a day until I finally pulled myself together and told myself that THERE WILL BE OTHER COMPETITIONS. This isn't my one to win, but there will be others. As the fabulous All Time Low said:
'Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year.'
So, to sum up, to anyone feeling disappointment right now, or doubting their abilities in anything, tell yourself that it's just one moment in millions of others, in which you'll be the best you can be. It's just one competition/exam/game/match/project/mark.
YOU CAN DO IT!
{So this became very inspirational very quickly. I feel like a preacher or one of those church speakers}
BYE!